Uncle Skello's 'What's Hot and What's Not'

WHATS HOT

1) Seamen - Not the type of sailor who wears less than fashionable sunglasses and who listens to 80's music (see last week), the type of sailor who's survived a good hard blow whilst rounding the horn..
2) 24 Commando Engineering Regiment - Welcome back to North Devon Boys.
3) Dogs - They say dogs take after their owners. My dog loves to chase cats (see last week)...
4) Boxing Day - Christmas day is now only 73 shopping days away. Personally, for me most of the day is spent driving and eating meat, 2 of my favourite pastimes. However, I'm often left full, but unfulfilled. In contrast, boxing day is pure joy....
5) Ham, eggs & chips - The mark of a good pub...after a hard day of sailing (thanks Matt) myself, James and Mikey [a couple of fine chaps (see last week)] ate in the Mariners Arms in Braunton. I'm a tough judge of this traditional classic, bit it really was superb.

WHATS NOT
1) France - With the WCT kicking off in Hossegor this week, here are a few unsavoury French facts. The average Frenchie, eats more garlic per head, is less likely to groom or trim their pubic hair, and is more likely to drop 3 (metric) tonnes of pig manure in your village square following a small altercation, than any other nation in the E.U.
2) Elephants - Hopeless pets....they eat far too much veg, obviously need their own bedroom and only come in a boring shade of grey...
3) Rubbish - The laybys up above Saunton are one of my favourite places to park up and admire the view of the bay, Hartland point and Lundy Island. Yet, they are strewn with rubbish.....what kind of person does this?
4) Chaps - Not the kind of man who's into mountaineering and knows the words to Jerusalem (see last week), I mean the bottomless, leather trouser variety one wears whilst doing the dishes, when the wife's away.